I was walking across the compound this morning and I ran into an inmate named BC. BC is the inmate shuttle driver; he is also the inmate Pastor. He is the first person from the camp I met when I surrendered. He drove me from the medium security prison over to the satellite camp on my first day. When I sat down in his car, he noticed the bible I was carrying (you are allowed to bring a bible to prison). He said, “that’s one powerful book you have there!” He also said, “Seek God in here, and you’ll be alright!”. This hit me really hard. This was a continuation of the advice of my sponsor and others…seek, seek, seek. Out there, I hear God through people. That is one of the reasons I love AA. In here, it’s the same…I just have to pay closer attention as they are not as frequent.
So, when I see BC coming towards me this morning, I smile because I know a word of encouragement and a fist bump is on the way. A small connection in a lonely place. Sure enough, we exchange our usual smile and fist bump, then BC stops and asks me how I am doing. Not in the casual way, but in the way that says he really wants to know. I tell him I am doing well, and I actually mean it. He smiles and says, “I can see that, you appear to be a man in God’s hands!”. Wow. What a powerful thing to hear. Not because of the pat on the back, because I needed to be reminded that I am always in God’s hands. Even here. Especially here! I also need to remember that my family and friends are in God’s hands as well.
This is how I experience God. It is through exchanges and connections with others that I get to feel and hear God’s Love. When I slow down enough, I will also get a glimpse of God through nature. The other day I was walking on the track around the prison yard. I looked up and saw some beautiful clouds drifting overhead. They were such a great contrast to the cinder block structures and razor wire fences. On another day, walking the same track I noticed the trees outside the fence. They were a beautiful vibrant green. On both of these, I felt in the moment that all was well. I see and feel God here in prison. My method of seeking has changed, but the seeking has not stopped. God is here and God is reminding me to stay the course.
