Being Yourself
My beautiful wife came to visit recently. I love her visits; they always leave me feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the remainder of my time here. Unfortunately, they often have the opposite impact on her, yet she visits anyway. More on that, in an upcoming post. In this recent visit, we talked about almost […]
In between my ears
One of the interesting things about Prison is that everyday is pretty much the same. I say “interesting” because once I accept this fact and develop a routine, I start to notice things. One of the biggest things I have noticed is how much of my emotional ups and downs are centered completely in my […]
2 Months in
I have been in Prison for two months today. Sixty two days to be exact, but who is counting (haha)? It is 8am on Sunday morning. They don’t turn the lights on in the unit until 10am on the weekends, so most of the men are still sleeping. I just finished my morning spiritual readings […]
Fist Bump
In the free world, I tend to get myself in situations that allow for my loved ones and friends to make fun of me or enjoy a laugh at my expense. My wife and kids find great joy in these moments. Despite my great efforts to not continue this in Prison, the trend seems to […]
Walks with TM
The hardest part of being in Prison has been by far the emotional pain caused by missing my family. At times the pain is overwhelming. Before I arrived here I knew on an intellectual level that this would be hard, but the actual feeling of loneliness and loss have been more than I anticipated. The […]
The Golden Key
A couple of days ago, one of my morning devotional readings centered around Emmett Fox’s “The Golden Key”. The devotional challenged me to practice saying “All is going to be well”. The reading explained that this is a repetitive affirmation of God’s Power and Grace. This hit me hard and reminded me of home. Back […]
“Don’t Have A Way”
“Don’t Have A Way” is the name of this blog site. Before coming to prison, this name seemed like a cute name that pays homage to one of my favorite AA speakers. I picked this name two days before leaving my family, my head swirling with thoughts and emotions. When I chose this name, I […]
Suffering
Yesterday I woke up with a heavy heart. It was the first day of school at home. I felt overwhelming powerlessness and deep emotional pain. Suffering. It was on me in a big way. I wanted to help, but other than calling and offering a few kind and loving words…I was powerless to help. My […]
Back to School
A new month. Nearly 4 weeks in. Today is the first day of school back home. This is always a challenging time in our house. The transition, anxiety of the new year, fears, and all the extra to do items always seem to throw us for a loop. It’s always difficult when I am there. […]
“Or, it’s going to be ok”
I am two weeks in. In some ways that seems like a lot, and it some ways it feels like nothing. Two weeks out there is a chunk of time…in here compared to 18 months it’s not much. Two weeks into the unimaginable. For five years my main fear was going to prison. It happened […]