Strange New World

It is July 13th, 2024. 6:45pm. I am close to finishing my 6th day of my federal prison sentence. Each day seems to get easier. I like that, I hope that trend continues. I have been thinking a lot about community. I have been spending the last 6 days trying to adjust to this new place with new people. I live with 110 men in a barracks style housing unit. There are 4 units in this camp, so the community is around 550 guys.

The advice I received before surrendering was to keep my head down. I assumed this was a figure of speech, a recommendation to just keep a low profile. I have found this to be literal as well. I am literally keeping my head down, and so do most others. People do not always greet each other. I may have a pleasant conversation with someone one day, and the next day we pass each other as strangers with our heads down. Strange world.

This has been interesting. It has illuminated what a beautiful life I left at home. First, my immediately family. We call each other FAMILY TEAM. We laugh, we cry, we fight, and we LOVE. We do it all big. I miss that so much. I not only miss the happiness and joy, but I also miss the struggle and pain of FAMILY TEAM life. I miss being a part of that TEAM, the solo lonely nature of prison seems to be one of the hardest parts.

The second community I have been thinking about is the recovery community I stepped aways from. A community of broken, damaged people that are connected through common pain and failures but also united in a common solution and desire to seek a spiritual answer to life’s problems. The result is a deep bond and support that I have come to rely on. Where I am is the opposite of this. This has created a great sense of gratitude for what I have on the outside.

My focus has been to be serious about my personal spiritual program. Reading, writing, prayer and meditation are a daily action. I am also focusing on connecting with as many people at home as possible. Staying in direct contact with FAMILY TEAM and my recovery network has been amazing. I have definitely found that my Higher Power is here, I have just had to look in different ways and in different places. I was told to seek God in prison by my sponsor. I am doing that every day and it seems to be working. Happy to report that everything is ok in Prison.